Curing “Mine-itis”

Calling things “mine” and not wanting to share is actually normal—young children are starting to know that there is a world beyond themselves. They begin to understand others’ perspectives and concepts like sharing around 3 years of age. So, it’s important to have reasonable expectations. The video tips below will help introduce your child to the concepts of sharing and taking turns in an age-appropriate way.

No Flash Player

Fun features on SesameStreet.org - games, videos, playlists and more - require the latest Flash player.

Don't miss out on the full experience, download the player now.

Get the latest Flash Player here!

Download Now

Set the Stage for Sharing

When your child is first learning to share, you might not want to start with toys that are special to him. If you’re having other children over to your house for a play date, you may even want to put favorite toys away. If your child is having a play date outside, try to provide as many toys and activity choices as possible. You may even want to bring along more than one of the same kind of toy. This allows him to choose one toy that he can share with others, as well as one toy he can play with by himself. That way, he’s making the decision on his own, and he’ll feel like sharing is his idea and his choice.

Watch Together:  What Is A Friend
Talk Together:  What would you share with a friend? How does it make you feel when you share with a friend?

Point It Out

When you are sharing, or noticing others are sharing, use language to describe what’s happening. For example, “Oh, look. Jane and Autumn are sharing a book and looking at the pictures together!” You might also say, “Let’s take turns throwing the ball.” Also, show your child that you respect her toys and belongings. That will help her understand what it means to own something, as well as why she needs to respect things that belong to other children.

Watch Together: Sharing Swing Song
Talk Together: What are these boys sharing? How do you know they’re sharing?

Time to Take Turns

Keep time! If there is a particular item that is in demand, set a timer, and when it goes off, the child with the toy knows it's the other child's turn. After doing this a few times, children usually becomes interested in another toy.

Watch Together:  Morphin’ Mega Monsters
Talk Together: How did the Morphin’ Mega Monsters solve the problem so that both kids could play with the truck?

Make it Fun

Play games and activities with your child that encourage cooperation with others, such as planting a garden, doing an art project, cooking, putting together a puzzle, or building block towers together. You can also provide opportunities for your child to share stickers, cards, or other little goodies with her family members or friends at school.

Watch Together:  Growing a Flower Together
Talk Together: Why was it important for the boy with the flower seed to share the seed with others?

Pats on the Back

When your child shares or takes turns, praise him by saying, “Thank you for sharing with me,” or “I love how you took turns with Mindy. You’re a good friend!”

Watch Together:  Sharing Toys
Talk Together: Mention a time when you were proud of your child for sharing. Ask how your child knew you were proud.




“Whenever my husband and I have the opportunity to share something with our 4-year-old son, Max, we speak of our eagerness to do so. If Max follows up with an act of sharing, we applaud him and call him Max the Master Sharer.”

More Topics >>