Sesame Street Blog

Sesame Family Robinson – From making Muppets to Raising Moppets

Entries with tag tagpostpartum .

Postpartum Depression

Curriculum of the day:   Sad

The doctor told me I have postpartum depression. Tell me something I don’t know. I’ve watched depression in my mother and grandmother. He wants me to get off the blood pressure meds because he doesn’t think I need them anymore. I don’t know, but I hate the fact that I’m taking them, so I’ll begin a long weaning-off process tomorrow—after I clear it with the doctor from the hospital who originally prescribed them. I wish they would all work together! Hopefully, this diagnosis will help me. And we’ve hired a nanny named Eliane from Buenos Aires. Marty is being SO patient with me. I feel terrible that I’ve saddled him with two kids and a depressed wife. Everyone says I’ll climb out of it when my body settles. I have my doubts. And when will this post-delivery bleeding stop?

Dark times

Some much needed recovery time.

Better Days

Curriculum of the Day:   Relational concepts:  Up/Down

Am I rising from the darkness? Possibly. I’ve had some good days. Sometimes, I feel like I’m still a hormonal basket case. Then, I have brief moments of lucidity. I remember that person named Annie who could multi-task with the best of them. I get everything I need to done—Dad’s bills, Marty’s bills, babies' bills, babies' diapers.  

And I’ve noticed lately how remarkable my babies are. They are so, so, so cute. And so good and reasonable. They really don’t cry unless there’s a good reason. They sleep very well.  They only get up two times a night now, most often at the same time. Marty and I will sit together at 4 a.m. in our dual rockers just chatting away while they eat; and it’s quite pleasant. It really isn’t as hard as it was just a few weeks ago.     

What a cutie!

It looks like they’ve got underwear on their heads.

My buddy Kiera with Rip.

Breast Feeding Blues

Word of the day: Envy

Now that I’m feeling less postpartum, I’m feeling envy. Breast-feeding envy. I needed to stop, no question. The blood pressure medicine I was on could have passed on to the babies through my milk. I’m grateful I did get to experience breast-feeding for a short time. But when I talk to friends who breast fed for a year and got all the benefits—bonding, oxycontin—I feel a pang of green, and blue.

The biggest miss is the bonding. I am certainly bonding with Lyra and Ripley. But I know it would have been a wonderful addition to our journey. No one else can breast-feed them but me. No one could have given them that kind of warmth and love. A bottle is a bottle. Not alive. I try to hold them in a breast-feeding position with the bottle to give them that feeling, as well as maximize the air intake—my girls are gassy. I know it’s still not the same, for them or me.

I do bless the bottles at night when Marty takes his shift. He feels he is able to participate as an equal in nourishing our children. It isn’t a reason not to breast-feed, but it is an interesting added benefit for us as a family unit.    

And I sometimes wonder if I would have breast-fed in public. Could I have just pulled one out on the train or at the beach? I’ll never know. All emotions are okay here at Sesame Street. For kids and adults. So yes, today I’ve got the breast-feeding blues. 

Other forms of bonding, although they seem more interested in eating books than reading them.


The Return of Me

Word of the day:   Recovery

I have returned.   

I have been feeling progressively less postpartum for the last month and a half, but lately I really feel I’ve turned a corner. My blood pressure has been normal for weeks, and it hasn’t changed since I finished weaning myself off the medicine. I no longer have vertigo. The depression has normalized. Everyone can feel down once in awhile, especially with twins. My life is still forever altered. But it’s not bleak. And I’m so grateful they are here, rather than wishing I could reverse time and never have had them. I love them so much it makes me ache.

The only bummer is I have a hematoma in my uterus. It’s blood left over from the original bleeding I had with the C-section. It’s rather large, and is the reason I still have to wear a pad everyday. It’s about the size of a tennis ball. However, the doctor really doesn’t want to do anything. He’s certain it will eventually all be absorbed. So, it’s a waiting game.

Meanwhile, I can exercise again! Back on the horse, and back on the yoga mat. The only problem—when will I find the time?!

Happy day with baby.

The Passing of Postpartum Depression

Word of the Day: Well-balanced

If you’ve had a chance to click deeper into our “Sesame Family Robinson” site, you might have noticed that March was a tough month for me.  After I gave birth, my hormones went on a rollercoaster dive unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. I was a prime candidate for a massive crash. I’d gone through three failed IVFs (in vitro fertilizations) over three years. When I became pregnant with twins, my body went into hormone overdrive. At 36 weeks, I got preeclampsia, which gave me high blood pressure. I failed to be induced, so I had a C-section.   And if that wasn’t enough, I hemorrhaged, so I had to have a blood transfusion. At this point, my body didn’t know which way was up or down. Can you blame it for getting very, very depressed?

Well I did, for a little while. I had twins; I didn’t have time for Postpartum Depression. The good news is there are many enlightened people in the world who have shown us very publicly this happens and you just need to get help. I was on blood pressure medication for three months after I gave birth, and recently weaned myself off the antidepressant I was given to help with the PPD.

I can happily say that it really is all behind me now. When I was in the lower depths back in March, I could only see the dark mold on the tree bark, forget even attempting a forest. It took awhile to get my chemicals back in balance, but I’d been confusing them for many years, so they just needed time.

I think it’s important to know how many women talked to me about their own postpartum depression. Not a just a few women, about 40 have cornered me to say they had some kind of PPD, mild or severe. I think it’s perfectly normal for all women after giving birth and utterly changing their lives to have some major highs and lows. And if you need help, go and get it. No judgments.

I can also proudly say I surprised my hypertension doctor last week. He felt certain I’d have to stay on blood pressure medication indefinitely because of the preeclampsia. But I really wanted off it and let my body try to return to normal on its own. I’ve had the same 110/60-ish pressure since early May. I say, “Ha!” For me, the answer is—exercise. It seems to be the answer to a lot of things.

The trouble is finding the time to exercise!
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Like your family we have twins, boy/girl, that turned three last month. I saw your blog entry for January and it looks like we have something in common, potty training twins. Like one of your girls, my son WILL NOT pee in the potty but his sister was doing well until she caught on to "Bubbie" not trying. I was just letting things run their course but our local pre-schools/mommy day out programs require the children to be potty trained and this mommy needs a day out. Bribery isn't working. Have you had any success?


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How often is the telly puppet renewed or replaced?

Katherine Sydney, Australia

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I read in 40 Years of Life on the Street about an incident involving Snuffy's puppet where a sombrero caused the wood frame to collapse on you and Bryant Young. Did they rebuild the puppet after that or did they just make a new one?


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I just wanted to say thanks for the blog. My daughter Kylie (who just turned two yesterday) loves to ask if we are going to see "the babies." Thank you so much to you and Marty for bringing the joy of Sesame Street into our lives every day.

Kendal and Kylie Montreal, Canada

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I've noticed that there are fewer Muppets and people in an episode now than there were twenty years ago. Does everyone show up on the set for filming days or only certain ones? Who decides who gets to play the Anything Muppets? There are some voices I hear more than others.


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